the boys I mean are not refined

Possibly triggering, but this is a happy post.

Last weekend, my best friend & I walked down to the football field long past midnight and sat in the grass. We were just tipsy enough to keep warm. And I finally told him, the first person I've ever told, that I had been raped.

And this boy - this boy knows me better than anyone ever has, and I will love him forever for not saying anything. He just pulled me to him and held me while I talked. And really, after months of agonizing about if I could do this... it was okay. It was good, even. Because I'd reconciled this with myself, but the thought of anyone else knowing terrified me. And now he does, and it's still okay.

I am just in such a good place right now. ♥

Hi everyone! It is absolutely GORGEOUS here (especially after flying up to Alaska to shoot last weekend, where it was -40F!) and I'm so happy for SPRING. And because it's the last day of classes for winter quarter and now I am DONE and get to go home after a week of finals! And okay, some of my joy also comes from pregaming my afternoon classes, but whatever, I'm happy. :D

My life... has been complicated lately. There has been lots of ~drama and unhappiness and confusion. But that's all right, because I finally think I have it figured out and I love Rose again and my friends and it's all going to be okay. I will maybe try to make a semi-coherent post about this later.

I hope you are all having just as wonderful days today, you deserve it! ♥

So I'm currently up in northern Ohio because we're shooting in the Camp Perry Open tomorrow for rifle! This is the beginning of the main part of our season, aka I'll be traveling every weekend until March. (Goodbye, social life.) This'll definitely be interesting; it's the only non-NCAA match we shoot, and we'll be on the line with the Olympic team, the national team, and Special Forces snipers. No pressure or anything.

Other really exciting news is that University of Alaska Fairbanks, which has lead the NCAA rifle program for the past few decades, has invited us up to shoot our sectional qualifiers at the end of February. And since we're currently unsupported by our school (long story, but we have no funding), they're actually paying for everything. Flights, room & board, range... it's an awesome opportunity that I think will be a great end to the season. And dude, ALASKA!

asdfkljf and we were just informed that our relay starts at 8:00, not 10:30 as they'd originally said, so I'll need to be up in five hours. Night! ♥

First of all, I want to tell you all about Chrome For A Cause! From now through this weekend, every time you open up a tab in Chrome, you get a point. At the end of each day, you get to choose how to donate them! All you have to do is install an unobtrusive plug-in that counts your tabs, so there's really no reason not to. :)

And secondly, I need you to listen to me very carefully. You must try Mario Batali's recipe for linguine with clams. This is imperative. It is the best kind of simple that is effortlessly classy. It is a two-pot dish - one for pasta, another for the rest - that honestly only takes 20 minutes & comes out perfectly every time. It's fast and easy (and you know that's how I like it). You will fall in love.

I make it every single time I go home, usually within 48 hours. However, if you're 1. unfortunate enough to live in some crazy Midwest town where you can't buy, say, clams - and the boy at the seafood counter doesn't know the difference between clams & mussels anyway - or 2. a dead-broke college student, or even 3. both - it's okay. I'll let you cheat.

Because you know what? If you trudge back through a foot of slush after a lab that quite literally blew up in your face - giving a whole new meaning to "pop a cap" - followed by a test that has you considering dropping the class, and you're cranky and hungry and ready to cry because you've only had 7 hours of sleep in the last three days and have another three tests before you can finally, finally get on that magical plane home tomorrow night - well, first you might want to hire an editor, because your run-on sentences are atrocious.

And then you can make some pasta in the microwave, open up some canned clams, and dump 'em on top with some olive oil, garlic powder, parsley flakes, garlic powder, and salt & pepper. You can ignore those looming deadlines and open up the internet - because you're not procrastinating, you're being charitable! - and relax.

But at some point you should probably open up that thermo book again. Damn it.

♥

I have such a terrible habit of getting completely overwhelmed with life and dropping out of fandom. And then I wonder why I don't have some sort of non-engineering creative outlet anymore. Sigh.

I promise to keep trying because I love you all! I did do a bit of a friends cut just because the smaller my flist is, the less I can distract myself with LJ (or at least that's what I tell myself). I still think you're stunningly fantastic people. ♥

First quarter was really rough in pretty much every way. Physically, I had knee surgery and then broke my leg a few weeks later; mentally, classes were barely passable; emotionally, I thought I was falling out with most of my friends. It was the first time I haven't loved Rose, and it was honestly really hard to handle.

But I went home for a week, ate good food, passed my classes, talked to friends, and now we've just begun the second quarter and I'm optimistic. I think I needed a perspective adjustment. It really will all work out.

I did get some good news - I was invited to intern for a major defense firm, so I'll be living by Lake Winnebago in Wisconsin this summer, designing & testing control systems for military vehicles! I'm pretty excited, since I really connected with the company and they'll be letting me work on both mechanical & electrical projects so I'll have experience in both my majors. Working on hands-on projects that will really help people? This is exactly what I was hoping for. (Okay, maybe not in Wisconsin, but we'll see!)

Basically, I'm just reminding myself that there are Good Things to be excited about: the upcoming holidays (and the many excuses for baking!). Rifle. The first snowfall, snowball fights, & ice skating on the lake. My ΔΣΦ boys. Going home in a few weeks to see my parents & puppies. Coming back to fandom, because I've missed you.

It's been over three weeks since I've updated, but I'm alive! Sorry for the complete lack of communication & the fact that there is no way I can ever catch up on my flist. I still love you all, I promise.

The first two weeks were my Iceland trip (which oh my fucking god was so amazing & will get its own post... someday) and then the day after I got home I drove back out here to Indiana, since summer classes began on Monday. I'm grade-replacing differential equations II (I am truly terrible at math for an engineer, and I'm going to need this material for the rest of my life, so I figure it's worth it) and technical communications, the only required English class that is usually taken as a junior.

Thanks to the accelerated pace (essentially double that of the school year) and the fact that these are both incredibly work-extensive classes, I'm very near drowning, but so far it's workable and I really feel like I understand what's going on, which is always nice. I am sort of :/ with my DE prof at the moment, as I couldn't recall some trig substitution (which I haven't used in years, okay) and he made the offhanded comment, "Well, if you're an EE and you don't understand this, you may as well give up and walk out right now." WHICH I VERY NEARLY DID. Sorry I suck at this, but I'm trying? This ME/EE thing is hard, cut me a little slack because I couldn't remember one fact from high school.

But I'm fully moved into the Delta Sig house now, which is disgustingly fantastic. I'm living in the basement because it's much quieter down here. I'd forgotten that six hours of sleep is a luxury here, especially living with these boys. Still amused by the enormous mirror above the curtained-in bed, although it's rather disorienting when you wake up in the morning.

ANYWAY. TL;DR I've missed LJ, but July has been a very good month for me! Please link me to all of the wonderful things I've missed?

Hello all! I've been awful about posting lately because in the last few days I've been completely rearranging my summer. This means that in two days, I'll be leaving the country for the first time (!!) to visit Iceland for two weeks! I'm half Icelandic and have never met anyone from that side of the family before, and my best friend from high school's family moved there as diplomats so I'll be able to stay with them. YES I'M REALLY FREAKING EXCITED.

I've been going crazy trying to figure out what I need to pack and finalize travel plans. The current plan is DC metro to bus to train to Newark airport, which is pretty inexpensive but going to require a lot more coordination with a suitcase than a direct train to the airport. IDK I'm kind of freaking out that I'm going to miss one of the transfers, but mostly just bouncing around like a five-year-old. :D

I'm running out to the bookstore tomorrow for novels & a beautiful journal (ohhh I have such a kink for pretty blank journals) because I am going to write about this, damn it. And take lots of pictures. (I say this all the time. I sort of also have a phobia of writing in my pretty blank journals. But this is important!) Anyway, please rec me your favorite fun books! I'll have over twenty hours of travel time on this trip, so anything long is especially appreciated.

Okay back to packing! Slash finishing up my marathon of TBBT. (GOD I LOVE SHELDON. In very small, fictional doses.)

I have spent ALL DAY going through cooking blogs & photography and I am dying to start cooking again. Unfortunately, I've been banned from the kitchen until the fridge is emptier. DISLIKE.

My favorite college-student site is Budget Bytes, with delicious-but-inexpensive recipes, and I love Anne'a Kitchen for its beautiful stories & photography (icon!), but other than that I usually just follow Tastespotting for gorgeous food porn & recipes. Any other recommendations?

ALSO, GREATEST DISCOVERY OF MY WEEK: mmagda's Etsy shop. OH GOD. I am absolutely in love with the rainbow cake pendant & earrings, the cherry pie pendant, the fruit tart pendant, the coffee bean cupcake earrings, the swirly ice cream cone earrings, the rainbow ice cream cone earrings, the lemon cupcake earrings, the chocolate star cupcake earrings, the waffle pins... I want them all! This is my narrowed-down list from over fifty tabs and now I'm stuck, but I'm definitely ordering something. :)

Rec me your favorite food-related things!

i. I am home! And really, really ready to go back to Indiana. I miss it so much already. Still considering just driving back and living at the house if things get too bad here.

ii. Yeah, I'll be retaking differential equations II in the fall. For an engineer, I am so terrible at math, it's not even funny anymore. But I should be done with all my math courses after next quarter. Fingers crossed!

iii. I desperately, desperately want to go see Foreigner, Styx, & Kansas at Nissan Pavilion Jiffy Lube Live (wtf really? when did this happen?) on June 12th! $20 lawn tickets, people! But I don't really have any friends left here and none of them seem interested anyway because they have no taste in music. DC fangirls, anyone wanna go with me??

iv. SPEAKING OF, DC fangirl meetup sometime while I'm home, Y/Y? :D I very much want to see you lovely ladies!

v. My really exciting news... the dad of my best friend from high school, Caro, now works as the Icelandic diplomat, so they're living there now. I'm half Icelandic on my dad's side, so I have tons of family there I've never met. So this August, I'm actually going to leave the country for the first time (!!) and visit! I'll probably be spending two weeks there, mostly in Reykjavik. I'm booking my flight this week and am so, so excited. (I'll spam about this much more once I actually have details worked out.)

vi. I'm loving classy_lawyers, a new Jared-Jensen-Danneel RP by poor_choices & setissma. You should be following this.

vii. Because I can't end on an even number, and seven is a good number - I love you all. ♥

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♥